Week 22



I am a huge fan of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Phantom of the Opera, so when Mark used the masquerade ball as a metaphor for the way we all play roles in our lives and that in order to find our true selves we have to stop believing that our roles define who we are… I couldn’t help but thinking of The Phantom of the Opera.

I love the movie starring Gerard Butler and they did a wonderful job. I had the collectors version and it included a behined the scenes look at the Broadway show. Including some secrets of how they created the illusions on stage. I wished I was able to see the live show, and a few years later I was so excited, thrilled and grateful when I was not only able to see the show live, but I was able to go to the Magestic Theater in New York City. It was magical! I was amazed at the tricks they had performed on stage. Including the one from the musical number at the beginning of Act II, “Masquerade”. Here is a video of the performance on stage:


The trick here is that in order for it to appear as if there are so many people on stage, some of them are not real . There are mannequins positioned at the top and sides of the staircase to make the stage look as if it is filled with performers. They fool us into thinking they are real people through the choreography.

Mark made it very clear to me by using this metaphor, we are fooling ourselves into believing that we are the roles we play. In order to find our authentic self, we need to abandon our associative memory’s perception of who we are. To remove the cement and find the pure potentiality within, so we can manifest our dreams.

We have already learned that we live the life we choose. We also learned about the comfort zone and that we tend to stay within our comfort zone when faced with choices that would make us feel fear, hurt feelings, anger, guilt or unworthiness.

We also know that when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change. So now we use these feelings as tools instead of allowing them to hold us back from accomplishing our goals.

Fear – protects us, keeps us from hurt but we can use it as a tool. Fear also brings energy, intense focus and concentration. It eliminates all distractions and brings alertness. When we physically feel fear glucose, adrenaline and other energy producing chemicals are released into our blood stream. This kind of alertness turns thought into action.

Hurt feelings – Nobody has hurt feelings over things they don’t care about. Instead of having a pity party, we can use the same energy to find ways to get what we want. To remind ourselves that we are hurt because we care. We can change our beliefs and accept that other people have a different opinion and point of view.

Anger -Massive energy! Be the observer. Using the laws of substitution and dual thought, we can take the energy and use it towards our goals. “The best revenge is living well” – Frank Sinatra.

Guilt – Anger directed at ourselves. The same way anger carries energy we can use this energy to make amends.Use the energy to manifest your dreams. We can modify or change our behavior. We don’t need to beat ourselves up. We all make mistakes. Just learn from mistakes and change. When feeling guilty for not doing something or procrastinating, ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” Be honest.We know what we are supposed to do, and feeling guilt means we are aware of what needs to be done. Guilt is proof of your goodness and that you know what is right.

Unworthiness – Be the observer. Give yourself permission to be happy. We are worthy of anything we want,but not worthy of everything we want. We just have to choose. Focus on the one thing we want. We would rather make excuses about not being good enough or deserving enough than to make a decision. Accept that you are nature’s greatest miracle and you are worthy. Unworthiness also keeps us on the path we are supposed to be on, it keeps us on track. Ask yourself the question, “What would the person I intend to become do next?”

Now that we know about the tools, it will take some time and practice to learn how to use them well. Be the observer and remind yourself of the tools and use the laws of the mind and dual thought. Practice makes perfect. We are to become self-directed thinkers. Be an adult. You don’t need to keep accepting the old ways. Deepak Chopra teaches us about Object Referral and Self-Referral.

In the Hero’s journey we come to a point where we have to continue the journey without the help of mentors and helpers. They are there to teach us, but we are going to have to find our own way. We have our tools and we are well prepared. We have learned from the scrolls about love, persistence, appreciation and gratitude. We can stay within the comfort zone… or face our fears, take a risk, follow our bliss, go on an adventure and find the magic outside of the comfort zone.







MKMMA – Week 20 & 21


In the webinar in week 20, Davene brought up a serious point.”We live the life we choose” meaning that the choices we make in life shape the life we live. Also, whether or not we choose to make decisions at all, changes the way our lives play out. That’s just the way it is.

We did an exercise during the webinar using the image of the dash. The dash being the little symbol between the year of birth and death. We were to write out the date of our birth and the time of our demise and draw a line between the two, marking where we are now on that line. We were to look at how many of our favorite seasons we have left on our dash. What are we going to do with the time we have left?

I have spent a great amount of my life looking back instead of forward. I have made mistakes in the past and have often wondered what I could have done to change the outcome. I have one major regret in my life, which if I could go back in time and change I would go back in a heartbeat and do something different. I have beaten myself up over the decision I have made over and over again. I became so depressed and saw no way out, no way to change what had happened. I had to live with the consequences to my actions. I sunk deeper and deeper into despair. I ended up in a dark place and stayed there for a long time.

We had learned during the webinar about the comfort zone and the emotions that keep us from making decisions in our lives. We are trapped behind a wall of bricks made from fear. The mortar that keeps the bricks together are feelings of guilt, unworthiness, hurt feelings and anger. I recognized immediately that this is why I tend to avoid situations that make me upset and cause me emotional pain. I had always planned on changing the outcome to the decision I made years ago, even at the time I had made the decision I had planned on doing something about it. Yet, I was frozen. I was not able to bring myself to do something about it.

I broke down. I started to cry, realizing that I have been to hard on myself. I understand why it was I made the choices I did at the time. I now know what has been holding me back. I can’t change the past. I can, however, learn from the choices I have made in the past and grow from them. Looking at my dash, I am a little over a third of the way  through. There is a lot of time left, I can choose to look forward instead of back and make the most of the time I have left.

We were told that we can actually use the emotions that keep us in the comfort zone as tools to break through the wall, and stretch our comfort zone. We were told to think about these emotions and how we can use them to our advantage. We then were instructed to comment in the alliance area on how we think this is can be done. There were a lot of great ideas and the concept of changing these emotions into tools to help us is great. I can’t wait to lean how to use these emotions to my advantage.

There is a saying, “Failing to plan is planning to fail.” and we learned a lesson from Mark about the fox and the hedgehog. We learned how to focus on the two most important things we need to accomplish to meet our goals. How to develop  a solid plan and stop wandering around in the dark. We sometimes feel like we are doing so much so fast, and yet we are just a flurry of activity accomplishing nothing. This is a waste of time and effort. We also tend to sit and think and plan, taking our time to make the right decision and never actually take action.

Luckily there are a couple of questions we can ask ourselves that can put us back on track. If we really think and try to come up with an answer we can focus on what needs to be done. Then we can take action and focus our time and energy to the A and B tasks that will lead to our desired results and a better life for ourselves.

These questions are:

What am I pretending not to know?

What would the person I intend to become do next?

Take the time to find the answer to these questions and develop a plan of action.

And then….



birthdays quotes and sayings-oTRf


MKMMA – Week 18 & 19

Everyone has been asked this silly question at least once before, but I am going to ask it again now.

If you could be any animal, which one would you be and why?

I have been asked this several times before and I have thought of many creatures I would like to be. A dolphin, a penguin, a  red panda, a wolf, a seahorse…. and a rainbow unicorn.

Yeah, I know… it’s a mythical creature. I think it is fun, and we should include mythical creatures as well.

I have recently felt a real connection to a different creature. The Phoenix.

I am sure most of you are aware of what a phoenix is, but just in case you are not familiar with them… I will let Dumbledore explain.

So, during week 18 I had come down with a terrible cold (I think it may have been Influenza, but I didn’t see a doctor.) I was feeling so bad I was not able to function. I spent most of my time on the couch with a box of tissues and several types of medication for all of my symptoms. At one point I actually thought about how some people might actually say, “I feel so awful I wish I were dead”. I had been reading the obituaries as Mark had asked us to, so I knew better. I did wonder if it would feel any worse going through really bad drug withdrawals.  Then I had an epiphany. Mark had told  us that we had to let our old associative memory`s sense of self die and that we would be going through the stages of grief. What if this sickness was my body responding physically to the death of my old blueprint. I actually was going through withdrawals… from an addiction to old thoughts, behaviors and those nasty peptides. A psychological detox, a cleanse of the world within.

One night after reading scroll V, I fell asleep and started to dream. In my dream I was sitting in a chair in a hospital room. I knew that I was there visiting a friend of mine. She had been a victim of a horrible accident and was in a coma. She was on life support and the doctors had decided they would be pulling the plug. I held her hand and thought of all the times she was there for me. I thought about her life and all the challenges she had faced. She certainly did not have it easy. She was one tough cookie. I started to cry. I knew it would soon be time.  I looked up and saw a young girl standing in the doorway watching me. “Oh hello.” I greeted her, “I didn’t see you there.” She smiled. “That’s okay. I just wanted to be here when it happens.” I nodded. The young girl moved into the room. “Do you know who she is?” she asked. At that moment, I realized that I couldn’t remember her name. How is it that I know we are friends, but I don’t remember her name. “Take a good look at her. Maybe it might help you remember.” She suggested. I moved closer to the bed and examined the face of my friend in the bed. I was shocked! She looked exactly like me! Just then the doctor and a nurse come into the room. “It’s time.” I hear the doctor say. The young girl takes my hand. I know the time has come. I nod. She is gone. We walk out of the room and out of the hospital. It is a bright summer day. The sun feels warm and there is a soft breeze. “I’m sorry for your loss.”she pauses a moment, “I just want you to know that I am here for you.” At that moment I realize I recognize the young girl. She is my golden self. My inner child. I give her a big hug. Then I woke up. I believe that this was a sign that I have gone through the five stages of grief. When the dream had ended I had a feeling of acceptance.

In week 19, I started to feel much better. I actually felt like I was healthier than I have been in a long time.For the past month we have been training ourselves to practice 5 habits that are the formula for happiness. I believe this is why I feel so great. The cement is falling off. We have learned about the goal posts and that achievements are not power. We are in control of our thoughts and therefore our happiness. We have also learned about the superhero pose and how the body can train the brain to feel confident. This is great when combined with the flash cards. I plan to continue using these habits to become a greater version of myself. I have a feeling of hope. I feel happier. I feel more confident. Like I can do things that I was afraid to even attempt before. Just like the phoenix , I have been reborn from the ashes. Now I just need to learn how to fly. I am excited to see what the future holds. 

MKMMA – The Hero’s Journey

Everyone loves a great story. A story filled with magic and adventure in a fantastic land. These stories are an escape from reality, but can also teach valuable lessons. They can draw a reader in and then the reader can become emotionally involved with the characters. So much so that they can become like friends you have never met. You really want the characters to win. You can become heartbroken when the characters you love have awful things happen to them. The stories have so much meaning and can actually impact a person so deeply it changes them forever. These stories have incredible lasting power. The authors who brought these stories to life become immortal. The stories and characters live on long after the writer is gone.  The same can be said for the actors who portray characters in the movies.

RIP Alan Rickman ❤  He died at age 69 on January 16th, 2016.

Joseph Campbell introduced a concept in the book  The Hero With A Thousand Faces  which he called the Monomyth.  His theory that myths and legends from around the world that have existed for thousands of years all share the same fundamental structure.


A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man.

There are stages or steps along the journey which are organized into three different acts.

  1. Departure – The hero hears the call of the herald to go on an adventure. The hero is reluctant to follow the call but is helped by a mentor figure.
  2. Initiation – The hero travels into unknown worlds where the hero faces tasks or trials, either alone or with the assistance of others. The hero eventually faces the central crisis of the adventure and overcomes the main obstacle or enemy gaining a reward. The hero must return to the ordinary world, but is pursued by guardians of the special world or the hero is reluctant to return and he is rescued or forced to return by intervention from the outside.
  3. Return – The hero returns to the ordinary world with the treasure which is used to benefit others. The hero is transformed by the adventure and gains wisdom or special power over both worlds.

This theory has influenced many writers and filmmakers. George Lucas has discussed how Cambell’s theory has influenced his work in Star Wars. Christopher Vogler a Hollywood development executive was inspired by the writings of Campbell. He wrote his own adaptation guide for hollywood screenwriters. Here is a video showing these influences by using iconic blockbuster movies that follow the same structure of storytelling.


The Hero’s Journey has also been used as a metaphor for personal spiritual and psychological growth. Using bibliotherapy The Hero’s Journey can help people cope with life transitions and by projecting their struggles onto the hero in the story and draw parallels between the story and their real life.

We are all the hero in our everyday lives, but we are also the author and we can write our own adventure. As long as we are able to answer the call of the herald. Be brave and answer the call.

RIP Robin Williams ❤  Died on August 11th, 2014. He was 63.

MKMMA – Week 17

This week’s blog is very late, and for that I sincerely apologize.  I have had a hard time coming up with what to blog about this week, and then the universe decided to throw some curve balls my way. I met these challenges head on and I am glad to say that for now everything seems like it is back to normal.

Mark talked this week about how now is the time that people start drifting. I have to admit that I have lost focus at times when things get stressful, when unexpected problems and issues pop up along with all of the regular day-to-day chores and responsibilities. As a stay at home mom with two little ones who are 2 and 3 years old I hardly ever have a minute to myself. I always have little shadows following me no matter what I am doing. This really keeps me on my toes. I juggle cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry, and taking care of a husband and 2 little boys (which is never ending BTW). Then when the universe decides that I am not doing enough and I need a challenge, it is hard to stay focused and have a positive mental attitude.

“Busy Mom” by Gertrudes Asplund

This week the virtue I decided to focus on was organization. OH MY GOD. What was I thinking?! This was really easy to find in others. Especially on Pinterest and other “Mommy” blogs. I decided to try to actually organize things for myself this week as it would add more dots to my chart. I went to work  organizing the house, getting rid of clutter, throwing junk away, putting things aside either to sell or donate later. Then I went around the house picking up toys and putting them away in little storage bins separated by type. I cleaned and vacuumed the boys room and admired what I had accomplished. It didn’t last long. As soon as they could they destroyed the room and all the toys ended up in a huge jumbled up pile on the floor. This is why we can’t have nice things.

When we woke up on Thursday morning we were shocked to discover that our phone and internet were out. I had to go next door to borrow the neighbor lady’s phone to call our phone service company to find out what had happened. Due to a mix-up on their end our services had been disconnected that morning. After spending a half hour on the phone, they finally decided to reconnect our service.

Later on in the week, right before I was going to sit down and write a blog post, my youngest decided to turn my desktop computer off. When I turned it back on it wouldn’t load Windows. I had to run several tests and do a system restore before it finally decided to come back on.

During times like these I have to try hard to stay positive, it is so easy to fall back into my old ways and get a peptide fix. That old blueprint kicks in and takes over. I have to fight hard to stay in control. I try to stay positive and use the power of substitution to manifest what I want in the world without. It seems like I am trying to imagine being on a beautiful beach on a tropical island with my feet in the ocean, but when I open my eyes I am standing in mud. I almost feel like I am fooling myself.

This reminds me of the Cherokee Legend of the Two Wolves.








We were told to give ourselves permission to be happy this week. I have done so. I am doing my readings and exercises every day. I am making these small practices a habit. I am telling myself every day that I am nature’s greatest miracle and that I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy. That I deserve to create a wonderful life for myself and my family. I am doing all I can to stay positive, to stay on track and to focus. I give myself permission to succeed. 


MKMMA – Week 16


This week we were told to focus on the virtue of Kindness. We were to increase our awareness, to catch others performing acts of kindness and to find ways to be kind to others this week.  We were to perform random acts of kindness, without anyone knowing we did it or noticing. This was the tricky part, being that I am a stay-at-home mom with two little ones and the weather is so bad. We were asked to comment in the Alliance area with examples of what random acts of kindness we had given or received.

As I had gone about my days I would try to think of what I could do that would be considered an act of kindness.  I have to admit I had some trouble at first trying to determine if something I had done was kind or just something I would normally do as a wife or mother. Also, I wasn’t sure if it would be an act of kindness or just having good manners. I noticed a lot of comments in the Alliance area that seemed to be things I would consider common courtesy, like opening doors for someone. There was a lot of speculation as to whether something was considered kind if the person the kindness was shown to noticed the person showing kindness in the act. Mark did say during the webinar that we were to try to perform our random acts of kindness without the other person noticing, but personally I don’t think they should be discounted. I went to the internet for answers.

Here is what I discovered.

noun: kindness

  1. the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.
  2. a kind act.

synonyms: kindliness, kindheartedness, warmheartedness, affection, warmth, gentleness, concern, care; consideration, helpfulness, thoughtfulness, unselfishness, selflessness, altruism, compassion, sympathy, understanding, big-heartedness, benevolence, benignity, friendliness, hospitality, neighborliness; generosity, magnanimity, charitableness
“he thanked her for her kindness”

It seems like there are a lot of acts that are considered polite and kind at the same time. Perhaps having good manners and practicing common courtesy and etiquette would be considered acts of kindness.

Regardless of how these acts are defined, being thoughtful, courteous and showing kindness make the world a better place. It shows others you care. No matter how trivial these things may seem, they can have a big impact on others. Kindness is contagious. It can change the lives of others in amazing ways.

Take Orly Wahba for example. She is the founder and CEO of a non-profit organization called “Life Vest Inside” after seeing a sign on an airplane labeled the same. She created a video showing  how acts of  kindness can change the world.

On January 6th we heard Ellen’s thoughts at the 2016 People’s Choice Awards when she accepted the Humanitarian Award. Her speech centered on the importance of generosity and kindness and in her closing she offered her wish for the world: love, kindness and understanding.

You can read more about it and watch the acceptance speech Here

As I went about my week showing kindness to others, along with reading Scroll IV and flipping through my stacks of cards. I started to connect the acts of kindness with accomplishments. It felt very familiar. The same feeling I would get from completing a promise on the service cards. Not to mention how acts of kindness are a great proof of Scroll II. As we were reminded when starting Ben Franklin`s chart. We all have these virtues within us, otherwise we would not be able to recognize them when we see it.

This seems to be a magical combination for my subby. I am starting to see myself as natures greatest miracle. I am letting my light shine. I am reminding myself everyday with a line from a movie that I just love.



MKMMA – Week 15

During the past week I have really been focused on my personal makeover. Especially since I posted last week what I wanted to accomplish this year as my New Years resolution.

First, this week we were told about Benjamin Franklin and his 13 virtues. He had made a chart and a system to look for examples of these virtues and made changes in his life. We were told to choose a virtue and focus on it. We already have these virtues within us, otherwise we would not be able to recognize examples of it when we see it. When we see an example of these virtues we are to mark it down on a chart. You can read more about his work here.


This is great because I was already recognizing examples of persistence while we were reading scroll III every day. So I chose to continue looking for examples of persistence.

I was able to find many examples of this, especially in stories people told of challenges they had faced and were able to overcome even when the odds were stacked against them. They were able to stay on track and pushed through the challenges and were able to succeed in the end.

We were asked to watch a movie from the list of choices we were provided. Even though we were asked to cut the cords of our TV sets only a few weeks ago. I guess they like movies and don’t care much for television series. I don’t agree, but that’s my opinion. (I’m only kidding. Although it is a bit confusing. I am not sure where they stand on TV. Davene does like the movies though.)


Anyways, I finally watched one of the movies on the list. I watched October Sky. It is a great movie about a teen boy  by the name of Homer who discovers his definite major purpose, which in his case is building rockets. Even though he has no idea how to build a rocket and isn’t that good with science  and is flunking math. He seeks out someone who is, a boy named Quentin. With the help of his friends Homer and the rocket boys make hundreds of rockets learning more through each failed attempt. Homer’s father is against him following his dream and wants him to go to work in the mines. His teacher, Miss Riley has faith in him and wants him to enter into the Science Fair. The boys go through many challenges, but in the end with persistence and a little encouragement from friends and family, Homer succeeds. He accomplishes what he has set out to do. I am not going to give it all away, I hate spoilers. If you haven’t seen this film it is definitely worth watching.

This is a great example of persistence and I have seen a lot more over the course of the week.

I am also focusing more on the power of words. I am paying close attention to the words I am using and doing my best to replace weak words with powerful ones. I am concentrating on Insight as Haanel teaches. I am making a determined conscious effort to clothe myself in the words that I want my life to be.

MKMMA – Week 14



Happy New Year!

This is the time of year when people make resolutions. They make a decision to change their lives for the better. They want to lose weight, stop drinking and smoking, eat healthier, and get out of debt. They also want to have more – More time with family, more money in a savings account, more knowledge, and more romance.

New Years resolutions are always made with the best of intentions, unfortunately only 8% of people are successful in achieving their resolution. Another 49% have infrequent success. Finally, 24% of people never succeed and fail on their resolution each year. Why is this I wonder?

I used to make resolutions myself. Usually the same resolution year after year- To quit smoking. I had been smoking for a long time. Fifteen years or more. I knew it wasn’t good for my health or my wallet, so I would decide each year to quit. I would put forth effort for a few days, maybe a week or more. Then I would give into temptation. I would have a smoke with a friend, telling myself that I wouldn’t buy a pack. It would be alright, I just slipped up. Then I would have a couple more and soon enough, I would be buying a pack and then a carton. I would beat myself up for not being strong enough. I would be ashamed of myself. I was an addict. I would resign myself to the fact that it just couldn’t be done.

Then on January 18th, 2012  I found out I was pregnant. Not just pregnant, but almost in my third trimester! I had only a couple of months to stop smoking. My husband and I both decided to quit. We quit cold turkey and by the time the baby was born, he came home to a smoke free environment. We found our reason to quit. We had a burning desire to stop. The love we had for that little miracle changed everything. We have been smoke free for almost 4 years now.

This week we started a new scroll, which is the most challenging for me so far. I am nature’s greatest miracle. I have been able to buy into everything I have read so far, but this was ridiculous. I rolled my eyes and continued reading. I was shocked to read the line, None can produce my child. I started to cry. I have always had low self-esteem, it has something I have known for a long time and have been working on improving. I never thought I was special or unique. I have made a promise to myself to make sure my children know just how special, unique and important they are. I want them to have self-confidence and pride in themselves. Why as a mother do I have such love and appreciation for my children and not have the same for myself. I didn’t quit smoking for my own health and well being, but it was so simple to do it for my children.

I used to be religious and go to church when I was young, but I lost faith and stopped considering myself a religious person. Since having my children, I am starting to feel a connection again. When I got to the line, I was conceived in love and brought forth with a purpose. I thought about the creator and recalled that He is also known as our Heavenly Father.

At that moment, I realized that I don’t love myself the way I should. I need to remind myself daily that I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy. I need to love myself and believe that I deserve more. I need to clean off the cement that has been smothering me. The old blueprint. I need to think only healthy, loving, positive thoughts.

This is my New Years resolution. To learn to love ME.


MKMMA – Week 13

This past week has been a crazy busy one.

First of all, our Christmas check which was lost in the mail finally arrived on Wednesday morning, just 2 days before Christmas. We were so happy. We went to our bank to cash the check, but they wanted to put a hold on it for 3 weeks! So we took the check to a check cashing store. After waiting for 20 minutes in line, we were told that we couldn’t cash the check because the teller at the bank had written on the check. Which meant the check was void.We were so upset! We had to go back to the bank and speak with the teller. She told us that the check was fine and they should have accepted it. She phoned over to a different store and told them what had happened. She was told that they would accept it. So we went to the store she called and they accepted it. Crisis averted.

It is quite interesting how the idea of losing the check we had in our hands, along with the idea of what we could have purchased with the money was so upsetting. We immediately took action to change the situation.

This is a great example of NARC and the technique Mark suggested on the webinar this week. The idea of not having the money was so disappointing.  We had to do something about it.

We were able to do some last minute shopping to buy a few presents and some food for Christmas. We had a wonderful time when the whole family got together on Christmas eve, and we had so much fun when the little ones opened their gifts Christmas morning. The joy was short lived though.

Right before Christmas dinner, my husband got very sick. Followed by both of the boys on boxing day. Then I got sick yesterday. So the holiday ended with the household having the flu for the rest of the weekend.

Again, another example of being so thankful for something we take for granted until we no longer have it. We are all doing much better and are so very grateful for our good health.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas and enjoyed the holiday season.