MKMMA – Week 14

 

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Happy New Year!

This is the time of year when people make resolutions. They make a decision to change their lives for the better. They want to lose weight, stop drinking and smoking, eat healthier, and get out of debt. They also want to have more – More time with family, more money in a savings account, more knowledge, and more romance.

New Years resolutions are always made with the best of intentions, unfortunately only 8% of people are successful in achieving their resolution. Another 49% have infrequent success. Finally, 24% of people never succeed and fail on their resolution each year. Why is this I wonder?

I used to make resolutions myself. Usually the same resolution year after year- To quit smoking. I had been smoking for a long time. Fifteen years or more. I knew it wasn’t good for my health or my wallet, so I would decide each year to quit. I would put forth effort for a few days, maybe a week or more. Then I would give into temptation. I would have a smoke with a friend, telling myself that I wouldn’t buy a pack. It would be alright, I just slipped up. Then I would have a couple more and soon enough, I would be buying a pack and then a carton. I would beat myself up for not being strong enough. I would be ashamed of myself. I was an addict. I would resign myself to the fact that it just couldn’t be done.

Then on January 18th, 2012  I found out I was pregnant. Not just pregnant, but almost in my third trimester! I had only a couple of months to stop smoking. My husband and I both decided to quit. We quit cold turkey and by the time the baby was born, he came home to a smoke free environment. We found our reason to quit. We had a burning desire to stop. The love we had for that little miracle changed everything. We have been smoke free for almost 4 years now.

This week we started a new scroll, which is the most challenging for me so far. I am nature’s greatest miracle. I have been able to buy into everything I have read so far, but this was ridiculous. I rolled my eyes and continued reading. I was shocked to read the line, None can produce my child. I started to cry. I have always had low self-esteem, it has something I have known for a long time and have been working on improving. I never thought I was special or unique. I have made a promise to myself to make sure my children know just how special, unique and important they are. I want them to have self-confidence and pride in themselves. Why as a mother do I have such love and appreciation for my children and not have the same for myself. I didn’t quit smoking for my own health and well being, but it was so simple to do it for my children.

I used to be religious and go to church when I was young, but I lost faith and stopped considering myself a religious person. Since having my children, I am starting to feel a connection again. When I got to the line, I was conceived in love and brought forth with a purpose. I thought about the creator and recalled that He is also known as our Heavenly Father.

At that moment, I realized that I don’t love myself the way I should. I need to remind myself daily that I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy. I need to love myself and believe that I deserve more. I need to clean off the cement that has been smothering me. The old blueprint. I need to think only healthy, loving, positive thoughts.

This is my New Years resolution. To learn to love ME.

 

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4 thoughts on “MKMMA – Week 14

  1. Beautiful post!! The biggest surge I have experienced is with the little success cards; the raindrops washing away the mountain. 70 or 80 cards a couple times a day is telling the Subby you’re a wonderful person. Do it now, with enthusiasm.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Aloha Stacy, As Bishmk said, above, Beautiful Post!! Please know that you don’t “need” to do anything extra in order for you to Love yourself…or for MKMMA members to send you their love and encouragement. I’m going to be bold here and offer up a technique for you. In my work, we are mindful of the power of words and saying you “need” something can keep you in a place of “neediness.” So, a Law of Substitution tip coming right up here: the part of our brain that’s “judgmental” (and it’s meant to be judgmental because that’s what helps keep us alive when we’re in danger) often prompts that negative “inner voice” to chirp up. However, that same part of the brain, when we use the word “can” gets busy finding ways for us to accomplish the positive things we’re saying…it seems to like “possibilities!” So, “I can learn to love myself” would get that part of your brain working on that for you ;-)) I hope it was OK to offer you this little tip. Wishing you much success on your MKMMA journey in 2016. Yours in Gratitude, Light & Love wendyht

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Wendy. I am glad you provided me with that little tip. I probably wouldn’t have seen that I can change my world within simply by replacing the word “need”. I understand the concept when we eliminate the word “will” during the second part of the scroll read every month. I just didn’t catch myself doing it here. Sometimes it is difficult for us to see what we can do differently until someone else points it out to us. Thanks so much for providing me with your assistance. I am so grateful for the MKMMA and for members like you who are willing to help others on their journey. Mahalo 🙂

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