In the webinar in week 20, Davene brought up a serious point.”We live the life we choose” meaning that the choices we make in life shape the life we live. Also, whether or not we choose to make decisions at all, changes the way our lives play out. That’s just the way it is.
We did an exercise during the webinar using the image of the dash. The dash being the little symbol between the year of birth and death. We were to write out the date of our birth and the time of our demise and draw a line between the two, marking where we are now on that line. We were to look at how many of our favorite seasons we have left on our dash. What are we going to do with the time we have left?
I have spent a great amount of my life looking back instead of forward. I have made mistakes in the past and have often wondered what I could have done to change the outcome. I have one major regret in my life, which if I could go back in time and change I would go back in a heartbeat and do something different. I have beaten myself up over the decision I have made over and over again. I became so depressed and saw no way out, no way to change what had happened. I had to live with the consequences to my actions. I sunk deeper and deeper into despair. I ended up in a dark place and stayed there for a long time.
We had learned during the webinar about the comfort zone and the emotions that keep us from making decisions in our lives. We are trapped behind a wall of bricks made from fear. The mortar that keeps the bricks together are feelings of guilt, unworthiness, hurt feelings and anger. I recognized immediately that this is why I tend to avoid situations that make me upset and cause me emotional pain. I had always planned on changing the outcome to the decision I made years ago, even at the time I had made the decision I had planned on doing something about it. Yet, I was frozen. I was not able to bring myself to do something about it.
I broke down. I started to cry, realizing that I have been to hard on myself. I understand why it was I made the choices I did at the time. I now know what has been holding me back. I can’t change the past. I can, however, learn from the choices I have made in the past and grow from them. Looking at my dash, I am a little over a third of the way through. There is a lot of time left, I can choose to look forward instead of back and make the most of the time I have left.
We were told that we can actually use the emotions that keep us in the comfort zone as tools to break through the wall, and stretch our comfort zone. We were told to think about these emotions and how we can use them to our advantage. We then were instructed to comment in the alliance area on how we think this is can be done. There were a lot of great ideas and the concept of changing these emotions into tools to help us is great. I can’t wait to lean how to use these emotions to my advantage.
There is a saying, “Failing to plan is planning to fail.” and we learned a lesson from Mark about the fox and the hedgehog. We learned how to focus on the two most important things we need to accomplish to meet our goals. How to develop a solid plan and stop wandering around in the dark. We sometimes feel like we are doing so much so fast, and yet we are just a flurry of activity accomplishing nothing. This is a waste of time and effort. We also tend to sit and think and plan, taking our time to make the right decision and never actually take action.
Luckily there are a couple of questions we can ask ourselves that can put us back on track. If we really think and try to come up with an answer we can focus on what needs to be done. Then we can take action and focus our time and energy to the A and B tasks that will lead to our desired results and a better life for ourselves.
These questions are:
What am I pretending not to know?
What would the person I intend to become do next?
Take the time to find the answer to these questions and develop a plan of action.
DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW!